It's a good thing that I resolved to start writing again today, because as it turns out, I'm not really sure who I am.
Last night, in anticipation of my meeting with the dean today, I asked my significant other how he felt about moving to another city if I didn't match in New York. I wasn't really planning to ask; though I'd thought about it before, it seemed much too early in the relationship to address the Future head-on. But it came up, and his answer was surprising: whereas he might consider other cities later in life, he'd like to complete his training in New York and begin his career here. In short, he's looking at at least another five years in NYC.
The truth is, I'd love to stay, or more specifically, I'd love to want to stay. If things continue to go well in our relationship, I will likely wish to stay in New York. But if things don't go well, I'm inclined to try somewhere new, in part for the adventure and in part because dating in New York is like wading through a cesspool looking for a pot of gold, without anything approaching a rainbow to guide you.
But there are only six ENT programs in New York, for a total of 23 spots, and if you include the Newark program the total jumps to 25. While my numbers are reasonably competitive, there is absolutely no guarantee that I will match in the city.
The dean and I had met previously, and at the time she had been very positive about my applying in ENT. Today, however, I had bad news. She frowned a little when I told her about my possible geographic restrictions, and I couldn't help feeling like I'd just brought home an A-minus. My options, it seems, are to apply broadly in ENT (the original plan) or to shift my schedule entirely and apply in an additional "backup" specialty to maximize my chances of staying in New York. Trouble is, any backup specialty in which I'd be interested will require quite a bit of convincing, since no one wants to be second fiddle, and I'm unlikely to match as well as I would have if the backup had been my first choice.
So which one am I? The girl who follows her heart, or the one who follows her head? It's too soon to tell, and I won't know whether I can be both until Match Day next year. The idea of betting on ENT in New York seems preposterous, but so too does betting on love only to receive a letter next March telling me I've bet wrong. Which brings me, again, to the (currently) unanswerable question:
Who am I?
Last night, in anticipation of my meeting with the dean today, I asked my significant other how he felt about moving to another city if I didn't match in New York. I wasn't really planning to ask; though I'd thought about it before, it seemed much too early in the relationship to address the Future head-on. But it came up, and his answer was surprising: whereas he might consider other cities later in life, he'd like to complete his training in New York and begin his career here. In short, he's looking at at least another five years in NYC.
The truth is, I'd love to stay, or more specifically, I'd love to want to stay. If things continue to go well in our relationship, I will likely wish to stay in New York. But if things don't go well, I'm inclined to try somewhere new, in part for the adventure and in part because dating in New York is like wading through a cesspool looking for a pot of gold, without anything approaching a rainbow to guide you.
But there are only six ENT programs in New York, for a total of 23 spots, and if you include the Newark program the total jumps to 25. While my numbers are reasonably competitive, there is absolutely no guarantee that I will match in the city.
The dean and I had met previously, and at the time she had been very positive about my applying in ENT. Today, however, I had bad news. She frowned a little when I told her about my possible geographic restrictions, and I couldn't help feeling like I'd just brought home an A-minus. My options, it seems, are to apply broadly in ENT (the original plan) or to shift my schedule entirely and apply in an additional "backup" specialty to maximize my chances of staying in New York. Trouble is, any backup specialty in which I'd be interested will require quite a bit of convincing, since no one wants to be second fiddle, and I'm unlikely to match as well as I would have if the backup had been my first choice.
So which one am I? The girl who follows her heart, or the one who follows her head? It's too soon to tell, and I won't know whether I can be both until Match Day next year. The idea of betting on ENT in New York seems preposterous, but so too does betting on love only to receive a letter next March telling me I've bet wrong. Which brings me, again, to the (currently) unanswerable question:
Who am I?
posted by A at 12:21 PM
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